This spirited black racehorse up for adoption stands 17 hands and broke the track records for the Preakness, the Belmont and the Indy 500. Whether you’re looking for a weekend pacer or an off-the-books racer, this could be the horse for you!

Interested parties should be experienced in handling a horse of this speed and power or, failing that, a bullet train. After winning his last race he kept going past the finish line, over the outside fence and through the back wall of the stables. When they finally caught him he was closing in on the southern border — of Paraguay. Riders must also be familiar with the proper technique for when he hits Mach 1.

Potential buyers should be aware that this horse is quite a fighter. He’s known for attacking and stomping all over snakes, unauthorized intruders, record times and your suspension of disbelief. However, got a spider in your bedroom? Bring him on in! It’s also worth noting that he’s still a bit savage and has never been completely tamed; at his last shoeing, he ripped the hot iron away from the farrier and gave himself a prison brand. He is up to date on all shots and Coggins-negative, but for safety reasons he should still be pastured solo — diseases won’t get to another horse, but he will. His team of handlers may be required to include a trainer, a jockey and most of Delta Force.

If interested, please call for an appointment.

Image Source / CC-Deathfly-2011