Literary Shelter Pets: The Black Stallion

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This spirited black racehorse up for adoption stands 17 hands and broke the track records for the Preakness, the Belmont and the Indy 500. Whether you’re looking for a weekend pacer or an off-the-books racer, this could be the horse for you!

Interested parties should be experienced in handling a horse of this speed and power or, failing that, a bullet train. After winning his last race he kept going past the finish line, over the outside fence and through the back wall of the stables. When they finally caught him he was closing in on the southern border — of Paraguay. Riders must also be familiar with the proper technique for when he hits Mach 1.

Potential buyers should be aware that this horse is quite a fighter. He’s known for attacking and stomping all over snakes, unauthorized intruders, record times and your suspension of disbelief. However, got a spider in your bedroom? Bring him on in! It’s also worth noting that he’s still a bit savage and has never been completely tamed; at his last shoeing, he ripped the hot iron away from the farrier and gave himself a prison brand. He is up to date on all shots and Coggins-negative, but for safety reasons he should still be pastured solo — diseases won’t get to another horse, but he will. His team of handlers may be required to include a trainer, a jockey and most of Delta Force.

If interested, please call for an appointment.

Image Source / CC-Deathfly-2011

Literary Shelter Pets: White Fang

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This solitary young wolfdog up for adoption has an untamed strain of The Wild in him, but don’t let that deter you suburbanites! He’s completely at home whether he’s in the Yukon or on your street. You’ll fall in love with all his endearing little touches of wildness: that impenetrable gray and white fur, those blue eyes cold as the morning chill on the frozen tundra, that fanged grin as white and frosty as a precipice of ice. Clearly this is the ideal family pet!

You’ll also find this pup’s a working dog who’ll be a great help around the house. He’ll put his sled dog experience to use pulling anything from a Radio Flyer to a Renegade. Kid wants a tow around the park? Hitch him up! Truck’s broken down again? Hook this boy into the traces and in no time at all you’re doing 90 down the interstate. Mush!

Got nothing that needs pulling right now? He can figure out other ways to help. One of the sharpest dogs we’ve ever seen! Soon you’ll find him happily fetching your slippers, your newspaper, or your neighbor’s credit card info. Or watch him run a Nigerian email scam! Just make sure he gives you a cut.

This puppy comes with all required shots, rabies and deworming treatment. Neuter at your own risk. We’re asking $400 to cover adoption expenses. We’ll take it however you prefer: cash, check, or solid gold nuggets (24k only please).

Image Source / CC-Max Goldberg-2015